Straight outta the Gromulus 7 sector, he has a simple mission: Complete enslavement of the human race, and harvesting ALL the resources of Earth. He has taken over a church to build trust and begin initating mind control techniques. He is also into some light probing on the weekends.
Once he is in human form, Zephyr Kane is undetectable as an alien. He has taken the role of a church priest. His plan to take over the planet was progressing on schedule until he met a beautiful human nun, Trixie. Now his world domination plans are in danger of taking a backseat to impressing his new crush (Trixie would not be thrilled at being harvested for her resources).
Trixie is a beautiful nun with a heart of gold, she is the finest woman the Earth has ever produced. She finds herself strangely drawn to the mysterious Father Zephyr Kane, and that may be the only thing that keeps the human race alive.
Spoofus is an Inept but somewhat henchman. He has negative charisma, and is a bumbling fool.
6000 years ago, THE CREATOR came from Gromulus 7 to Earth. He deposited the first human prisoners in order to populate the planet in preparation for its eventual ‘harvesting’ (Yum!). Being a busy guy, he left Smoofus behind to keep watch on things and write the Bible: A simple guidebook for all of future humankind to maximize their deliciousness and to help them prepare sacrifices for THE CREATORS return.
Smoofus, being a worthless POS, instead outsourced the work of writing the Bible to a bunch of Hebrew dudes at his weekly D&D game, and thus the Holy Scriptures we know today were born.
6000 years later, THE CREATORS alarm clock goes off, and he returns to Earth expecting a heros welcome, only to find Smoofus living in the basement of an abandoned church, having done NOTHING!
Starting now, in 2025, he must begin the monumental task of reconditioning humankind, beginning with a corrected Bible written for children, and build up this CHeRCH to mind control and enslave the planet. With only Smoofus at his side, what could possibly go wrong?
1) You will need a wallet. The Creator recommends storing your treasures in Phantom. They are downloadable to your mobile devices or available as Chrome Browser extensions.
2) Send ETH to your wallet. If you are on an exchange, you can send it right to your wallet address from there. A coinbase.com account will allow you to purchase ETH from your bank account.
3) Finally, simply swap your ETH for CHeRCH Coin. Guarding the CHeRCH Coin in your wallet ensures your place of favor with the Creator in the heavenly realm.
0x0c351baE4425FbFc94e8da6F53ff3E178e171C60
Click to expand.
CHeRCH. Just a church. Seriously. A plain old church. Nothing sinister or possibly evil lurking under the surface. We swear. Welcome to Solana's favorite religion.